Oops! I almost forgot to post this last entry in our series on Friendship - perhaps I should title it..."From Pillar to Post"!
Listen, I have just spent the most lovely afternoon with some of my most favorite women on the face of this planet and I am still basking in the blessing of it all - I will let you know all about it on Tuesday, but until then, let's be about finishing up our series on Friendship.
This will, in all probability, be the shortest post in the series and yet it is really quite profound in its inworking and outworking. Understanding in any friendship is simply - knowing others. And while this particular Pillar of Friendship takes the longest to develop and there being definitely no short-cuts - the length of time does vary from friend to friend.
Understanding flows naturally out of intimacy - understanding requires communication, and at the risk of sounding redundant...understanding requires communication for the sole purpose of gaining greater understanding.
You have perhaps heard it said that intimacy can be defined as IN-TO-ME-SEE...this can be enormously frightening for many people and may suggest the reason why so many have surrounded themselves with a vast array of acquaintances and very few, if any, truly intimate friends. Remember Jesus, and how out of the twelve He had chosen three; these three were to be witnesses of many intimate moments with Jesus, not the least being His time of great distress and grief.
I have so much to say on this, but to keep it short, think about this...have you an intimate friend that you are able to take your "game face" down in front of? If not, why not? Are there parts of yourself that you deem as "unLOVEly"? Of course the best place to begin intimacy is closest to home...knowing yourself well. Asking the hard questions regarding your own self before the Lord, letting Him shine His Light on those areas of your heart that you have been trying to hide from God, yourself and others. Girls, this takes time...LITERAL time. Listen, there is a reason that one of the Names of Jesus is Wonderful Counselor! As long as we live on the face of this earth, we are in desperate need of Divine Counselling and God knows it! With professional earthly counselling, you book your date and time and pay your ridiculously enormous fee. With God, the debt of fee has been paid for at the cross and your Divine Counselling session has been booked - any day, any time, you can boldly (did I just say boldly? yep, I did) walk in! This time with God is not a quick 5 minutes in and out - this Counselling Session takes LITERAL time...take that time sweetheart, take it - it has been paid and booked just for you - take an hour, and let God minister to you by His Holy Spirit, to the deepest recesses of your soul. Believe me, once you have experienced the love and cleansing work of the Lord in your own life and soul, you will find it much easier and be more free to develop intimacy with others.
Understanding in intimate friendships only comes when your "game face" is still in the bathroom drawer! When you pour into your friendships...let them see who you are, not who you think they want to see. This will give them permission to relax and open up to you as well, giving you an opportunity to encourage and contribute and minister into their lives. We just have to keep this thing real, authentic - otherwise we fall into William Shakespeare's take on it, "...all the world is a stage and all the men and women merely players...".
As we ask the Lord to give us wisdom in the choosing of our most intimate of friends, let's not be about looking for perfection, many will come as diamonds in the rough...for heaven's sake, when we get to really know God and really know ourselves and live this thing out minus the game face, we certainly begin walking humbly with our Lord - and we cease to look for perfection in others or ourselves! Let's know our God and ourselves well, being strong in the Lord and willing to pour ourselves into the lives of others for Him. Let's also be ready and willing to receive and be ministered to as well, as our particular gardens fragrantly bloom in all their beauty and vast array!
Not the definitive word by any means...but hoping that you were somehow blessed, encouraged and leaning a little closer into your Lord,
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